Your partner wants a divorce.
Take a deep breath. There is help.
Even if one or both partners have:
- filed for divorce,
- has a personality disorder
- had affairs,
- argue over sex,
- often fight over money, time, children
- different communication styles,
- lack of affection,
- lack of sexual attraction
- been jealous or untrustworthy
- stopped being loving
- given up
Crisis Triage: Breaking Up Emergency First Aid
1. Give your partner space. It is natural to want to convince your partner to work on your relationship, however, resist the urge. Crying, pleading, arguing, lecturing, can make an already stressful relationship worse.
2. Stay true to yourself. Becoming the perfect partner, reassuring love, doting, writing heart-felt letters, playing love songs, walking down memory lane, being overly attentive toward your partner can be seen as manipulative and unattractive.
3. Get help and support on your own.
- Read Michelle Weiner-Davis’s book: Divorce Busting
- James Dobson’s Love must be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis
- Find a therapist that specializes in Marriage Counseling.
- Find a therapist specializing in Discernment Counseling.
- Seek support from an anonymous group. Avoid rallying up support from your friends, family or children, Groups specializing in Co-dependence, COSA, Divorce Care and similar community support groups can be alternative source of support.