One Small Change: The Power of Words (part 1)

As I work with clients I enjoy watching them experience how even the smallest change can have a big impact internally and externally (relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, psychologically, and environmentally).

cardOne of my favorite small changes involves  modifying  a few key words.  There is  a connection between the words a person uses, and what they’re experiencing inside, and how they interpret their world.

In the next few articles I want to give you suggestions about changing a  few seemingly harmless words or phrases  you may be using.  These words actually can limit our experiences and inhibit our sense of self.

Notice I said “change” not eliminate.  If you are like me, stopping something, anything, really (a habit, a feeling,  a thought, ) can be  a very difficult task if you have nothing to replace it with.  For example, what is the best way not to think of a pink elephant?  Think.of a green one!   My favorite catch phrase is, “if you are not ___________ what will you be instead?”


Theres a funny expression,  “Stop shoulding on yourself”  that little word should packs a punch.

Try It:

I would like you to try this little change:

Instead of saying, “should”  try saying one of the following instead:

Will choose


Want .

Example: instead of saying, “I should read more.”  try saying, “I want to read more”

Instead of saying, “I should be happy.” Try saying, “I will  be happy.”

I encourage you to try it now.  I find that practicing outloud and comparing the new phrasing to the old phrasing is an effective way to recognize the change.   As you say the phrases  outloud  notice even the slightest shift in your experience.  What do you think?  How is it for you?
For me I can say, “I should do my taxes” or “I want to do my taxes.”
Since I really don’t want to do my taxes it doesn’t fit at all. Hmmm….interesting.


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Ramona Taylor, M.A. LMFT a Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (LMFT97652)


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embrace 1Many people are surprised to find that they begin to notice positive changes from the moment they make their appointment. As a Marriage & Family Therapist registered intern, I pull from a wide range of treatment modalities to create a treatment plan that will benefit each individual client. As former teacher I carry with me the desire to teach myself out of a job. So, along with effective individualized treatment, I make it my goal to teach clients to use what they learn in session, where it counts: in their everyday lives.   I see couples, families, children, young adults and teens. I have varied hours of availability, including late afternoons, early mornings at The Inland Integrated Wellness Center. Our office is located in the historic district of Corona about 1 mile South of the 91FWY :
817 West Grand Blvd (map)
at the Inland Integrated Wellness Center.
Please feel free to view the pages of my website or call the office toll free at
(888) 634-6999 ext 16 if you would like more information or would like to start therapy.
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