As I work with clients I enjoy watching them experience how even the smallest change can have a big impact internally and externally (relationally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, psychologically, and environmentally).
In the next few articles I want to give you suggestions about changing a few seemingly harmless words or phrases you may be using. These words actually can limit our experiences and inhibit our sense of self.
Notice I said “change” not eliminate. If you are like me, stopping something, anything, really (a habit, a feeling, a thought, ) can be a very difficult task if you have nothing to replace it with. For example, what is the best way not to think of a pink elephant? Think.of a green one! My favorite catch phrase is, “if you are not ___________ what will you be instead?”
Theres a funny expression, “Stop shoulding on yourself” that little word should packs a punch.
I would like you to try this little change:
Instead of saying, “should” try saying one of the following instead:
Example: instead of saying, “I should read more.” try saying, “I want to read more”
Instead of saying, “I should be happy.” Try saying, “I will be happy.”
I encourage you to try it now. I find that practicing outloud and comparing the new phrasing to the old phrasing is an effective way to recognize the change. As you say the phrases outloud notice even the slightest shift in your experience. What do you think? How is it for you?
For me I can say, “I should do my taxes” or “I want to do my taxes.”
Since I really don’t want to do my taxes it doesn’t fit at all. Hmmm….interesting.