John Gottman is considered a marriage expert,   He has studied thousands of successful couples and documented what it is that these “masters of marriage are doing that attributes to their success.  Here is a list of what components he has found that are important in successful long term relationships.

• They are gentle with each other.
• They spend time in and enjoy conversation with each other.
• They allow for influence by their partner.
• They do keep score by remembering the good things their partner does for them.
• Each partner knows themselves reasonably well.
• Each partner honors the others dreams.
• There is a positive sense of humor in the relationship.
• There are shared goals and a sense of team work in the relationship.
• There are good conflict resolution skills in the relationship.(sometimes this means doing something, and sometimes it means letting things take care of themselves.)
• There is a sense of continued romance in the relationship.
• They consider contempt, for the partner, in all it’s forms, as a threat to the marriage and it must be avoided, or worked through.