Master’s of Marriage
John Gottman is considered a marriage expert, He has studied thousands of successful couples and documented what it is that these “masters of marriage are doing that attributes to their success. Here is a list of what components he has found that are important in successful long term relationships.
- They are gentle with each other.
- They spend time in and enjoy conversation with each other.
- They allow for influence by their partner.
- They do keep score by remembering the good things their partner does for them.
- Each partner knows themselves reasonably well.
- Each partner honors the others dreams.
- There is a positive sense of humor in the relationship.
- There are shared goals and a sense of team work in the relationship.
- There are good conflict resolution skills in the relationship.(sometimes this means doing something, and sometimes it means letting things take care of themselves.)
- There is a sense of continued romance in the relationship.
- They consider contempt, for the partner, in all it’s forms, as a threat to the marriage and it must be avoided, or worked through.
In his book, The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work Gottman (and co-author Nan Silver) explain how couples can develop and reinforce the key elements that can help hurting couples to become more satisfied and successful in their marriage.
Click on the book to order a copy today.